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There’s this really cool thing called “liturgical living.” I have always understood it as living your life according to the calendar of the Church. I like creating a rhythm of life according to the feasts and fasts of the Liturgical Seasons. As such, I feel like I should be full of apostolic zeal. During the Easter season we read from the Acts of the Apostles. Peter and Paul boldly proclaim the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ going as far as directly accusing the ones to whom they are preaching! “This Jesus who YOU killed!” And thousands upon thousands are converted! I feel like I should be full of apostolic zeal, but I’m just so tired. Coronavirus and wedding planning and ministry over the internet and family stress and not sleeping well really add up.
I don’t write this to fish for sympathy or to make excuses for not doing enough but rather as a check for myself. What did Peter and Paul and the apostles suffer? Romans and Pharisees and Sadducees and imprisonment and torture and constant travel and preaching probably also really added up. So, my question is, HOW DID THEY DO IT? Seriously. How?
“They were worshiping the Lord and fasting.”
I do that… right? Upon closer examination I realized I go through the motions a lot. I may pray a Holy Hour and attend/watch mass every day, but am I really investing in my relationship with God? Or am I checking boxes on a list?
Comparison isn’t fruitful. My life is very different from the apostles and I shouldn’t get down on myself for not preaching the Gospel from rooftops and walking in to one of the hospitals and curing people of COVID in the name of Jesus Christ. However, looking at the lives of others can serve as a challenge to us. As I prayed with the readings today, I felt challenged by the apostles to enter more deeply into my relationship with Christ. He will sustain me. When I feel so completely worn out and yet still run to Him, He will give me all the grace I need and more. The Christian life isn’t glamorous. If it is we’re doing it wrong, but it should be full of joy and peace. When those things are lacking, then it’s time for a reality check.
Rest in the Lord today. Unload your stress on Him, and let Him shower you with His love and grace. Accept it, even if you can’t feel it.
-Amanda Nobis, Director of Evangelization